If you’re a long time reader, you’ll remember almost exactly a year ago I wrote a series of posts on anxiety. (If you weren’t around and haven’t read them, I’ve compiled them into a page here for you). One of the reasons I started blogging was because it gave me a way to work through all these crazy thoughts I had swirling through my brain and I really wanted to share it with the world because I was certain there would be others out there also struggling.
Since it’s been such a long time since I talked about my journey/struggle/whatever, I thought it was time for a post. Also because while the holiday season is happy and wonderful, it can also be a struggle for people dealing with any kind of anxiety issue.
I had a lot going on this fall: travel, moving, racing (and more racing and more racing), working, friendship things and so on.
I can confidently say if this were two or three years ago, I probably wouldn’t have made it out the other side as well as I have. More likely I would have curled up into a ball and cried and accomplished nothing. (Hey, celebrate the little victories, right?).
That said, some days it’s been a struggle to keep my head above water. Some days I was so overwhelmed with everything I just didn’t know where to start.
When they (whoever they is) say starting is the hardest part, it really is true. I’ve found I just need to pick something and get it done and then move on to the next thing. This approach works for packing, unpacking, organizing, laundry, cleaning and also when working on projects at work.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve stood in my living room, hands on my hips just staring. Trying to figure out where to start packing/unpacking/organizing and feeling so overwhelmed by it all. This is one of the reasons I haven’t hesitated to take a day (or sometimes even an entire weekend) “off”.
I know I need more time to recharge (anxiety + introvert can be a bit of a struggle at times) and I allow myself to do that. Accepting this is who I am and this is what I need is important and has been huge for me. In the past I’ve felt like I needed to be more like _____ and then I put pressure on myself to change who I was to fit that mold.
That never worked out so well for me.
I know my anxiety will always be lurking in the background – keeping me humble and on my toes – but I’m glad it’s something that I have the tools (and medication) to manage to I can tackle life when things get a little out of hand, instead of having life tackle me.
Are you struggling this holiday season? No need to leave a comment if you don’t want to, but feel free to shoot me an email if you’d like to connect <3
I’m not giving you a list of 3 or 5 or even one thing you can do to “help” with feeling anxious because I know sometimes even seeing that can cause feelings of not feeling good enough, and let’s face it, that just sucks. What I will say is that things can get better. Sadly, it doesn’t happen over night, but it does happen.
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